Hi ,
Happy mid-July! Those lazy-hazy-crazy days of summer are passing quickly, with a whole lot more crazy than lazy, at least on my end. Now’s our chance to rectify that!
You may recall that each of my newsletters is focusing on a different key from Resourced and Ready, and today we’re on Key #3: Exercising Agency. We can’t be effective
if we’re not caring for ourselves, and that means making choices that work for us.
Here’s a recent example. A few days ago, I opted to step away from stacks of boxes and a massive to-do list to relax over a long, leisurely lunch. (Did I tell you that I’m moving?) It definitely didn’t feel like what I should be doing, especially
since I was getting ready to head out on vacation. Yet I’m so glad I did it. By refusing to buy into the false belief that I had to keep plugging away, I enjoyed a wonderful afternoon and returned in much better shape to get things done.
It was a small shift with a big impact, and I think it illustrates how easily we can find—or
overlook—opportunities to make intentional choices that not only serve us, but lead to better outcomes overall. Let’s dig in a little more.
Key #3: Exercising Agency
Exercising agency means recognizing that we have options even when life feels a bit out of control. It sounds simple, but when we’ve been in survival mode for a while, it’s easy to forget that we have a say in how our day unfolds.
I’ve experienced that often…
waking up and going through the motions, checking off a long list of things I had to do. For years, there wasn’t much space to even consider what I actually wanted or needed, let alone act on it. It’s not all that surprising given the stress of an academic career. Research shows that when we’re under pressure for long
periods, our brains can default to a kind of helplessness, even when we have some control.
The good news is that we can break this pattern. Recognizing our choices—even when they’re not perfect—is one powerful step toward healing and resilience. Like awareness and validation, agency helps us reconnect with ourselves.
Try It: Make One Intentional Choice a Day
Exercising agency doesn’t have to mean making a huge change. It might look like:
- Saying no to a meeting you don’t really need,
- Choosing how to spend a day off,
- Or speaking up in a conversation.
Whatever it is, take a second to pause and
acknowledge that you
were exercising agency.
Try It: Shift Your Language
This week, pay attention to how you talk about your responsibilities. Instead of saying, “I have to…”, see how it feels to say, “I’m choosing to…” or “I get to….”
It’s a small change, but it can shift our mindset, reminding us that we have a role in shaping our day. If you experience resistance, it may be time to say no— a critical way to exercise agency.
We don’t need to completely overhaul our life to feel more in control. If we actively notice where we do have choices, we’ll probably discover we have more options than we realize.
And let’s remember to celebrate each time we make the choice to honor our needs. It’s not always easy, and it’s so important.
As always, thanks for being here, and thanks for being you!
