Hello ,
Happy Friday the 13th!
You may recall that I’m planning on highlighting a different key from Resourced & Ready: The Ultimate R&R in each of my upcoming newsletters, and today, we’re starting with the first key: Building Awareness.
If you’ve been with me for a while, you know that I often emphasize the importance of awareness. We have no hope of shifting things without it, so it’s a logical place to begin. What’s more, I’ve found that once we’re aware of something, next steps tend to fall into place relatively easily.
So let’s dive in.
Key #1: Building Awareness
Building
self-awareness is about paying attention to what we’re thinking, how we’re feeling, and what our body is telling us. When we’re not paying attention, it’s easy to miss habits or patterns in our behavior that don’t support the life we truly want.
I have to admit that I was almost never fully aware of my inner experience during my academic career.
I powered through my to-do list without pausing to consider how I was feeling or why I was doing what I was doing. I just wanted to get things done so I could move on to the next item on my list.
Although it was exhausting (and in some ways unfulfilling), it was relatively straightforward. It didn’t require stopping to reflect or making
difficult choices as to what to say no to. I just tried to do everything.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, this approach eventually became unsustainable. And once I finally began to take even brief pauses to notice what was going on—first in my head and later in my body—my life opened up in wonderful ways.
Try it out
If any of this resonates, I encourage you to take one small step toward more self-awareness today. The simplest approach is to insert brief pauses into your day, and to use those to check in with yourself, remembering not to layer on any judgment.
Engaging in regular, honest reflection can also be a powerful way to deepen self-awareness. Here are a
few questions to get us started:
- Can I name the feeling I’m experiencing right now?
- How is that feeling showing up in my body?
- When am I most present?
- When am I likely to just go through the motions?
If you’re willing to go one step further, RAIN is a wonderful tool that combines self-awareness with
self-compassion (the second key in Resourced & Ready). Originally created by Michele McDonald and later expanded by Tara Brach,
RAIN guides us through four steps to help build self-awareness.
R — Recognize what’s going on
Notice what you’re experiencing—a thought, feeling, or sensation—and simply bring it into your awareness.
A — Allow it to be there
Let the experience be, without judging or trying to push it away. Even if it’s uncomfortable, try not to fight it.
I — Investigate with curiosity
Gently explore what you're feeling. Where do you notice it? What might it be connected
to? Stay curious, not critical.
N — Nurture with kindness
Offer yourself compassion—maybe with a kind phrase like, “This is hard, but I’m doing my best,” or a soothing gesture like placing a hand on your heart.
On my website, you’ll find a RAIN meditation for overwhelm specifically designed for academics. It’s led by my friend and colleague—and mindfulness teacher extraordinaire—Victoria Fontana. I hope you’ll check it out.
Important: It’s totally normal for self-awareness work to feel a bit overwhelming at times—especially if you’re not used to facing tough emotions or thoughts head-on. For some people, it can even feel like too much, causing them to shut down
as a way of coping. If that happens, be gentle with yourself. Go at your own pace. And if things ever feel too heavy to handle on your own, please seek help from a mental health professional.
